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You’re not falling behind. You’re carrying too much.

You've pushed hard for years and kept everything steady. The exhaustion you feel isn't a personal failure. It's what happens when your nervous system never gets a signal that it's safe to stop.

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What you were taught about success is wearing you down.

 

You followed the rules better than anyone.

 

You believed what they told you about being good.

Good girl, good worker, good lawyer.

You built your entire career on rules no one bothered to mention were optional.

No one mentioned these rules were impossible to sustain. Or that trying would break you.

You set out to prove you were stronger than the stress. Smarter than the system. Better than they expected.

 

I recognize this pattern because I've lived inside it. 

I'm Heather Mills. I spent eight years as a class action litigator. Successful by every measure that mattered. Until I walked to BART after work one day and realized my entire body was in knots.

Seven years in, I didn't have language for what was happening. Burnout wasn't in my vocabulary. Weakness wasn't an option.

We're trained to find flaws and eliminate weakness. In briefs, in arguments, in ourselves.

So you pushed harder. Failure wasn't in your history. It wouldn't start with this.

You've accepted that stress and overwork come with the job.

 

So you tolerate it. Months become years.

Why? Because that's law. Because looking at it directly means admitting something's wrong. Not with the job. With you.

So you push harder. 

This continues for years. It always ends the same way.

Acknowledging burnout feels like revealing weakness. Admitting you can't handle what others manage fine. That's the last thing you'll allow.

You haven't failed. The system failed you.

Trying to outwork burnout only accelerates it.

 

If you're a woman attorney, the statistics aren't in your favor.

The numbers:

56% of women lawyers report burnout compared to 41% of men.1,2 

Only 10% of women lawyers report zero work-related health issues (sleep problems, anxiety, physical symptoms). Men? 21%.2

One in four women attorneys has considered leaving law because of burnout.3 

 

The only thing harder on women attorneys than the profession itself is the pressure they place on themselves.

What burnout actually looks like

While I wouldn’t have used the term “burnout” back in my 7th year (even though that’s precisely what it was), But I would have agreed with these statements. And maybe you do too.

  • "My value ends where my productivity ends."
  • "I can't delegate. They'll either do it wrong, or they'll do it better and prove I'm replaceable."
  •  "I'll rest after this case closes. After this year ends. After I prove myself."
  •  "Anything that isn't work feels selfish."
  •  "Nothing I accomplish feels like enough anymore."
  • "I used to care too much. Now I can barely make myself care at all."
  •  “I can't decide what I want for lunch.” 
  • "I have no idea what I actually want anymore."

Women attorneys hide burnout. From colleagues, from family, from themselves. 

What's actually happening


Burnout comes from years of conditioning that taught you to stay alert, productive, and available, even when your body and brain needed rest.

The stress loop keeps running because your system no longer knows how to slow down without fear.

This can be rewired. You can calm your system, rebuild your confidence, and feel steady again. It doesn't require quitting your career or lowering your standards.

 

You don't have to carry a broken system anymore.

 

If you’re tired of holding this together on your own, try something different.

 

Book a 20 minute call. We’ll talk about what’s been weighing on you and what would actually help at this stage. If you want to hear about working together, I’ll explain the options. No pressure either way.

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7 Reasons You're Not Burned Out and Are Totally Fine, You Swear

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I'm Heather. 

I help women attorneys go from survival mode to sustainable, fulfilling careers.


As a former class action litigator who experienced high-functioning burnout, I understand what you're facing.

You've always aimed high. But you were taught that relentless effort is the only path there. That rest equals weakness. That slowing down means falling behind.

I help clients identify and dismantle the beliefs driving their burnout. We work on nervous system regulation and practical strategies to build sustainable, fulfilling careers.

You can recover without quitting or earning less. This is about changing how you think about your work, not changing the work itself.

Let's talk about what a sustainable career looks like for you.

 

More About Me

Sources:

1. Bloomberg Law. "Analysis: Female Lawyers Report More Stress, Burnout Than Males." Bloomberg Law, August 2023, https://news.bloomberglaw.com/bloomberg-law-analysis/analysis-female-lawyers-report-more-stress-burnout-than-males. 

2.  American Bar Association. "Self-care gap expands as female lawyers spend less time on themselves, report more burnout." ABA Journal,October 2023, https://www.abajournal.com/news/article/self-care-gap-expands-as-female-lawyers-spend-less-time-on-themselves-report-more-burnout.   

3. WealthChoice. "Burnout and Bias: Why Financial Planning is Critical for Women Lawyers." WealthChoice, July 2023, https://wealthchoice.com/burnout-and-bias-why-financial-planning-is-critical-for-women-lawyers/.